THE STAY-AT-HOME MOM AND THE HUSBAND THAT RESENTS HER

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 It’s 5:00 pm.  Almost SHOWTIME!

This means it’s time for you to prepare for your Oscar-Worthy performance. Your audience will be home by 5:30 pm, which means you only have 30 minutes to lay the groundwork to your act.

After reading the title to today’s manuscript, The Stay-at-Home-Mom that Actually Works, you get pumped and whisper words of encouragement to yourself, “I got this. I can do this well.”

So, you go to your trailer, that just so happens to be your bedroom, and you start getting ready. You grab your apron from your wardrobe. You sit in the make-up chair and have your toddler make-up artist powder your cheeks with flour to give your performance a more dramatic touch.  And to add that extra ‘umph’ to your appearance, you train your children – that are just absolute angels all day – to cry hysterically and pull at the hem of your skirt out of a dire need, just at the right time.

You rehearse your lines and reconsider the tone of your voice because it wasn’t convincing:  Melancholy is what you are aiming for.  You do a dry run right before your audience comes into the house and you nailed it.  It’s perfect!

Okay, now the real show is about to begin. It’s 5:30 pm.  The curtain, also known as the front door, opens and…  A STAR IS BORN!  Or, at least that’s what your husband thinks.  The sly look of skepticism on his face is a clear indicator that he believes your genuine reality is simply a sham.  And he waits, and waits, and waits for you to take your bow, however this is no act.

He thinks that you have just been kicking back all day.  You find yourself in a frequent struggle getting him to believe that you actually work and that the way you contribute to the family – although not monetarily – is priceless.

In The Stay-at-Home Mom and the Husband that Resents Her, Nikki Ace uses her personal experience to:

* illustrate how seeking God fervently helped her to appreciate her value as a wife and a stay-at-home mom

* demonstrate how applying biblical principles to her marriage gave her insight and clarity on how to be the best player in her role, consequently bringing out the best in her husband

* reveal how she developed more understanding of her husband’s perspective and his expectations of her

* debunk the myths that plague stay-at-home moms

* present a marriage that is a continuous work in progress and to celebrate how God’s unchanging hand persistently blesses this union

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Happy Birthday Lil’ Wes!!!!

 

He went from this…
 

.

…to THIS in a matter of seconds!!!

I call him my ‘Organ Defroster’ because he melts my heart away.  WOW!  That was corny, huh? He really does something special to my heart though.  I never knew I could love this hard and with so much compassion until he came into my life.  He can do something soooooooooooooo terrible (like stick his whole hand in a jar of vaseline and then wipe his hands off on the comforter) and I will be extremely upset for about 5 minutes 23 seconds – if even that! Then I look into those gorgeous, “please- forgive-me”eyes and all is forgotten.  It just reminds me of the love and grace that Jesus has for us everyday, although his sympathy is on another scale that I can not touch with a ten foot pole.  I praise God everyday for blessing me with a beautiful, healthy, kind-hearted, and the most fun son in the whole wide world. 

Happy Birthday Lil’ Wes!!!! Mommy loves you ~ FOREVER! 

 

Product Details

Words of Wisdom to the Stay-at-Home Moms and Their Husbands

http://www.amazon.com/Words-Wisdom-Stay-at-Home-Their-Husbands/dp/1461017971/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1308758977&sr=8-1

Don’t You Wish He Could Read Your Mind?

                                 

A SAHM always appreciates a little unsolicited help around the home from her hubby. The problem is that most men don’t get hints, so the rolling of our eyes and the disappointing sighs mean nothing to him. It’s important for SAHMs to be CRYSTAL CLEAR in stating our specific needs and desires to our husbands. I can almost promise you… he doesn’t know! He thinks everything is “fine and dandy”. Even if he sees you with bald patches in your head from stress because you are literally carrying the house on your back while having a baby latched to your breast ( we’re talented aren’t we?), he’s thinking, “She’s just PEACHY!”

Remember that a closed mouth won’t get fed, so it’s imperative to make your requests known. “Honey, can you change the baby’s diaper for me?…Sugar Plum, I am having difficulty getting the twins ready, can you be a doll and start breakfast for us?” You can’t go wrong if you ask, but if he consistently says “no”, that is a whole other can of worms.

I just know that I always expected my husband to just KNOW. But he didn’t ladies. HE DIDN’T!!! I don’t know how he didn’t, but HE DIDN’T and after reading enough relationship books, my assumptions were correct: I didn’t marry a dummy…I married a man ~ a smart man at that. And guess what? He justs needs a roadmap. So ladies, guide them.

Words of Wisdom to the Stay-at-Home Moms and Their Husbands

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Mother of All Ideas Contest!

Howdy to all of my fellow Mommy Inventors and Entrepreneurs!  I just wanted to share this great opportunity to win a grand prize of $2500 for your great idea!  This is Mommy MD Guides first annual Mother of All Ideas Contest.

Check it out! You never know where your idea can take you.

Deadline July 15, 2011

http://www.mommymdguides.com/breaking-news/mother-of-all-ideas-contest

And don’t forget to pick up your copy of my book!

Words of Wisdom to the Stay-at-Home Moms and Their Husbands

Words of Wisdom to the Stay-at-Home Moms and Their Husbands: Invaluable Insights from Those Who Know Best

Now available as an ebook!

http://www.amazon.com/Words-Wisdom-Stay-at-Home-Their-Husbands/dp/1461017971/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1307769496&sr=8-3

Papa Didn’t Raise No Fool

 

Over 710,000 hits on You Tube!!!

I wanted to post this blog with the sole purpose of making you smile.  You can’t help but crack a grin after watching this video of my father and I getting our boogie on at my wedding in 2006. This was so much fun. You have to admit, we were getting down! Pops was grooving!  WOW… I must be getting old. Who says grooving anymore?

Anyhow, my father and I have more than dancing as our special bond. I totally get my creative genius from him.  Since I’ve known this man (from birth about 25 years ago…wink wink), he has come up with about 11,780,345 inventions.  This averages out to be about…hmmm.. A LOT every year!  He used to call a family meeting every time he came up with a new idea and we would shoot ideas back to him on how he could improve his invention and also let him know whether or not someone would actually buy it.  In fact, our most exciting moment was when his product qualified to be on QVC.  QVC guys!!! Can you believe it?  This is every inventors dream and he did it!   

 You should see the little doodads he has around our home.  When he sees a need, he fills a need.  Even if that means inventing a mirror stand, connected to a hand mirror, that is placed on top of the bed to reflect what’s on television while someone is sitting on the toilet in his master bedroom.  You can watch tv  – or tv on the mirror, for that matter- and sit on the potty all at the same time!   Now if that’s not evidence of extraordinary intellect, I don’t know what is.  Overall, this guy is a hustler- the legal kind- and I always admire how he (as an entrepreneur for over 30 years) made things happen.I just love this dude.  He’s the greatest! 

Since becoming a stay- at- home mom, I, too, have come up with myriads of inventive products that makes life just a little bit easier.  Let’s just say that I am his little twin with ovaries, lengthy hair, two pierced ears, and a coke bottle figure (don’t I wish!) .And most recently, we both became published authors!!! Check out both of our books.

(W.O.W. = words of wisdom)

W.O.W. – The Lord has blessed me with the most wonderful earthly father.  You never know what influence you have on your children.  Make it good!  I learned from my father that hard work eventually pays off and to never give up.  He is now working on invention number 11,780, 346  and I will be right there to listen and shoot my ideas back to him.

 

Words of Wisdom to the Stay-at-Home Moms and Their Husbands

Author:  Nikki Ace

http://www.amazon.com/Words-Wisdom-Stay-at-Home-Their-Husbands/dp/1461017971/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1305903902&sr=1-1

How To Be Black Only On Weekends

Author: Tom Williams

http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Black-Only-Weekends/dp/0965073416/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1305904020&sr=1-1

My Long-Awaited First Book is Now Available!!

 

 amazon.com

Use this link: http://www.amazon.com/Words-Wisdom-Stay-at-Home-Their-Husbands/dp/1461017971/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1303281154&sr=1-1

Barnes & Noble.com

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Words-of-Wisdom-to-the-Stay-At-Home-Moms-and-Their-Husbands/Nikki-Ace/e/9781461017974/?itm=1&USRI=nikki+ace

Many people talk about it, but very few ever follow through… but I have!   I can’t believe I AM A PUBLISHED AUTHOR!!!  We ALL have a story to tell, knowledge to share, and words of wisdom that does no good if we keep it in our little, or in my case, BIG head.  So be inspired, get ready to share, and write a book!!

Title: Words of Wisdom to the Stay-at-Home Moms and Their Husbands : Invaluable Insights from Those Who Know Best

The perfect MOTHER’S DAY gift!
 
What does your wife or husband really want to say to you that they may be keeping in secret?
Are there any other moms out there that feel discouraged? Or dads that feel overwhelmed?
How do your children view you as a parent and as a partner in your marriage?
 
Be CONVICTED, ENCOURAGED, and LAUGH all at the same time as you read
this compilation of enlightening advice!
 
Testimonial
“I am not a stay-at-home mom, but I found this book to be a great read for ALL moms, wives, dads, husbands, and anyone interested in becoming one.” 
 
-Nadine, Registered Nurse
Married 18 years
Mother of three children
 
Please support NIKKI ACE by purchasing this book for yourself or as a gift
for someone special and leave a REVIEW on Amazon or Barnes and Nobles to spark interests in others.
Thank you so much!
 

Do You See What I Have to Deal With?

I think the pictures will say it all. 
Wesley and I have a Silly Willy on our hands! 
Why Lil Wes? Why?

 

 PHOTO #1

 

We were attempting to take family photos for the back cover of my up and coming book (soon to be released on Amazon, by the way) entitled Words of Wisdom to the Stay-at-Home Moms and Their Husbands. Sorry, I had to have a promotion moment

Anyhow…we must have taken 2,342 pictures and this is how the photo shoot turned out.

Are you having trouble breathing babe?
 
 
PHOTO #356
 
 
The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout, down came ...
 
 
PHOTO #1,328
 
 
Now you are just being downright rude. The camera is WEST and you are looking NORTHWEST. Lil Wes... focus, focus, focus.

 

PHOTO #1,876

 

Finally, we were able to capture the winning shot.  WooHoo! Hurray for patient photographers a.k.a Grandpa and Grandma. Let’s also not forget those longsuffering models – hence, mommy Nikki and daddy Wesley.

 
BELLISSIMO!

 

PHOTO #2,342

 

GOTTA LOVE that precious lamb of mine.  He is the only one who has the ability to make me frustrated, laugh, and melt my heart simultaneously.  Now, I could’ve gotten upset after PHOTO #2,001 when Lil Wes decided he was throwing in the towel.  He figured WE were wasting his time.  If I can remember correctly, I believe he said he had more important things to do, like run around the backyard with his wagon as he is  bound to discover the cure for cancer – or at least that’s how “important” he makes his play time seem.

The life of a 2 1/2 year old: All play, no work. Well, that is until he realizes that vaccuming is actually a chore. Shh!!! He doesn’t need to know. And no I am not infringing on any child labor laws, so there is no need to call the authorities.

To say the least, I got the shot I wanted and if I may say so myself, we look FAB-U-LOUS!  Bellissimo!!!

Really, is being a mom suppossed to be this much fun? I am having a ball!

For the Married, Thinking about Marriage, and the Divorced – A MUST READ!

I would marry this man a million times over! HWF's (Husband and Wife Forever!)

This is a great story that I read on Facebook. It is truly inspiring,  so hold on to your hat because it will blow you away. (Author Unknown)

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions.  She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.
Matthew 19:6

Dr. Mom

I have to admit. I really have been blessed with the greatest family in the whole wide world. My mom, for one, has many qualities that I love, but there is just one that brings me to tears in laughter whenever I think about it.

As I reminisce about the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, I can’t help but think about the father’s unorthodox cure for everything – Windex. If the windows need cleaning, of course, Windex was the perfect solution. If you had a skin ailment, whether it was psoriasis, poison ivy, or acne- there he was, Windex in hand, ready to spray on contact. What was meant to be a glass cleaner, somehow to the father, also had the supernatural ability to comfort and heal skin irritations.

Likewise, my mom is the queen of home remedies. To no surprise, she has inherited the name Doc (short for doctor) at work because she always offers her old school, natural home remedy for every and any discomfort. If your joints are aching, she’ll make you a large cup of sage tea that she brewed up herself. Tylenol doesn’t exist in her world. When she senses you coming down with a cold she would force the poor victim to eat a clove of garlic. Do you know how embarrassing it was for my brother and I to go to school smelling like a deterrent for keeping vampires away? Whatever happened to plain ole’ Alka Seltzer? Also, everyday that my mom sent my brother and I to school, she would grease us up from head to toe in Vaseline… yes I said it …Vaseline! Can you imagine? You would have thought she was sending us out for a boxing match. If it was winter, she called herself protecting us from the cold – as if Vaseline was a magical shield to keep us warm and snugly. If it was spring time, the Vaseline was used to keep our skin moist- but doesn’t lotion do the same job? My brother and I found that we didn’t even need to write our names on our schoolwork because the teachers could spot our papers a mile away.  Just by looking at the multiple grease marks left on it from excess Vaseline, they knew it was ours. It’s funny now. It wasn’t funny then.

But my all time favorite is her fascination with Golden Seal. Golden Seal is an herb that comes in the form of an ointment to speed and soothe healing of irritated skin. Despite this, it seems to be the solution for 80% of the problems we throw at my mom.

“Mom, I have an insect bite.”
“Well Nikki, go and rub some Golden Seal on it.”

“Mommy, my big toe nail fell off.”
“ Now how in the world did you do that? Go in the bathroom drawer and get the Golden Seal. It should grow back in a couple of seconds.”

“ Mom, I broke my arm!”
“ That Golden Seal will make it all better, baby.”

“ Mommy, I am going bald.”
“ Go ahead and rub some Golden Seal ointment on your scalp to stimulate your roots. That should do the trick.”

“Mom, I am in labor!”
“ Nikki, make sure you apply that Golden Seal like I told you to and that beautiful baby should slip right out.”

We tease my mom a lot about her obsession with Golden Seal. My family thinks she really needs to think about jumping careers to become their spokesperson. Obviously, I’ve stretched the truth a bit  on how she would suggest use of this product, but anyone who knows mommy, knows Golden Seal. I got to hand it to her though- most of my issues were solved by using this product, so I know she is on the right track. Mommy will never steer you wrong –at least not intentionally.

I am so blessed to have a self-made doctor in a mommy- I just love this quality. What a great package she is. I hope to one day have my son, Lil’ Wes, laughing with me (and not at me) about the qualities I possess. I may not be Dr. Mom, but I am sure I’ll be “Dance Fever” -since I love to dance, hopefully good enough to not embarrass my little man. It is so great to have memories, such as this, to remind me of the times I’ve laughed the most. And it feels good to be able to find humor in each other. One day when Lil’ Wes gets older, I am sure that he will be teasing me about the things that I do and guess what… I can’t wait to laugh.