Dr. Mom

I have to admit. I really have been blessed with the greatest family in the whole wide world. My mom, for one, has many qualities that I love, but there is just one that brings me to tears in laughter whenever I think about it.

As I reminisce about the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, I can’t help but think about the father’s unorthodox cure for everything – Windex. If the windows need cleaning, of course, Windex was the perfect solution. If you had a skin ailment, whether it was psoriasis, poison ivy, or acne- there he was, Windex in hand, ready to spray on contact. What was meant to be a glass cleaner, somehow to the father, also had the supernatural ability to comfort and heal skin irritations.

Likewise, my mom is the queen of home remedies. To no surprise, she has inherited the name Doc (short for doctor) at work because she always offers her old school, natural home remedy for every and any discomfort. If your joints are aching, she’ll make you a large cup of sage tea that she brewed up herself. Tylenol doesn’t exist in her world. When she senses you coming down with a cold she would force the poor victim to eat a clove of garlic. Do you know how embarrassing it was for my brother and I to go to school smelling like a deterrent for keeping vampires away? Whatever happened to plain ole’ Alka Seltzer? Also, everyday that my mom sent my brother and I to school, she would grease us up from head to toe in Vaseline… yes I said it …Vaseline! Can you imagine? You would have thought she was sending us out for a boxing match. If it was winter, she called herself protecting us from the cold – as if Vaseline was a magical shield to keep us warm and snugly. If it was spring time, the Vaseline was used to keep our skin moist- but doesn’t lotion do the same job? My brother and I found that we didn’t even need to write our names on our schoolwork because the teachers could spot our papers a mile away.  Just by looking at the multiple grease marks left on it from excess Vaseline, they knew it was ours. It’s funny now. It wasn’t funny then.

But my all time favorite is her fascination with Golden Seal. Golden Seal is an herb that comes in the form of an ointment to speed and soothe healing of irritated skin. Despite this, it seems to be the solution for 80% of the problems we throw at my mom.

“Mom, I have an insect bite.”
“Well Nikki, go and rub some Golden Seal on it.”

“Mommy, my big toe nail fell off.”
“ Now how in the world did you do that? Go in the bathroom drawer and get the Golden Seal. It should grow back in a couple of seconds.”

“ Mom, I broke my arm!”
“ That Golden Seal will make it all better, baby.”

“ Mommy, I am going bald.”
“ Go ahead and rub some Golden Seal ointment on your scalp to stimulate your roots. That should do the trick.”

“Mom, I am in labor!”
“ Nikki, make sure you apply that Golden Seal like I told you to and that beautiful baby should slip right out.”

We tease my mom a lot about her obsession with Golden Seal. My family thinks she really needs to think about jumping careers to become their spokesperson. Obviously, I’ve stretched the truth a bit  on how she would suggest use of this product, but anyone who knows mommy, knows Golden Seal. I got to hand it to her though- most of my issues were solved by using this product, so I know she is on the right track. Mommy will never steer you wrong –at least not intentionally.

I am so blessed to have a self-made doctor in a mommy- I just love this quality. What a great package she is. I hope to one day have my son, Lil’ Wes, laughing with me (and not at me) about the qualities I possess. I may not be Dr. Mom, but I am sure I’ll be “Dance Fever” -since I love to dance, hopefully good enough to not embarrass my little man. It is so great to have memories, such as this, to remind me of the times I’ve laughed the most. And it feels good to be able to find humor in each other. One day when Lil’ Wes gets older, I am sure that he will be teasing me about the things that I do and guess what… I can’t wait to laugh.

Smart…in Secret

Photo Credit: Angie Hill Pictured: Braxton

I give up! I think my recently turned 2-year-old son likes playing this little joke on me. Maybe you can take a look into my world and explain this swindle my little man has mastered.
Now one of the biggest benefits of being a full-time stay-at-home mom is the versatility I have with my responsibilities. By far, being a teacher to Lil’ Wes has been more rewarding than words can describe. Well actually it depends on the day. Sometimes I don’t feel too proud of my accomplishments because for the most part I am the only one that sees it. Again, I think Lil’ Wes is playing tricks on me.
Everyday I allot a certain amount of time dedicated for school where I am the teacher and Lil’ Wes is my student. By the way, he is at the top of his class – although he’s the only one in it. I’ll teach Lil’ Wes the alphabet and he’ll recite his ABC’s confidently – even do some of them in sign language. He’ll learn his numbers 1-10 and not only does he recognize the numbers, say them in order, but he’ll make a representation of the numbers with Cheerios (2 Cheerios = 2) or with his blocks (4 blocks = 4).
If you walk into our house you would think you just entered a preschool. With corresponding words taped around on household objects there is no doubt that there is some serious learning taking place. When I read Lil’ Wes his favorite book on shapes, he knows his circles from squares, his rectangles from triangles, and even his octagons from his pentagons. He’ll see a door and yell out “Rectangle!” He’ll see the wheels on a car and scream “Circle!”. Even when we are driving, as best as he can, he’ll shout out “Oc- gon” for octagon when he sees a stop sign.
There is no doubt this boy is truly amazing. He’s quite a genius, a rising star, not to mention a mastermind …. IN SECRET! Just let me try to show his brilliancy off to family or friends.

“Lil’ Wes, can you say your numbers?”
He responds, “ 2, 3, 5…”

Obviously he needed a little bit of assistance. What ever happened to #1 and #4?

“Okay honey, can you say your ABC’s?
Without hesitation he says, “B, C, D, 2, square…”

First of all, I find it quite interesting that he likes to start with the second number and letter in both the numerical system and the alphabet. It never fails.

Let’s just say that Lil’ Wes doesn’t work his best under extreme pressure. When all eyes are on him, he actually starts wiggling, kicking, and dancing. When others are around, he is more focused on getting his groove on than getting his alphabet correct.

For all he knows we want to see a show. So what does a performer do? He performs. I guess reciting the ABC’s and 123’s is not in his repertoire for public eyes to see or ears to hear. But when it is just Mommy and him, he does everything perfectly – he’s my Baby Einstein. I got to hand it to the kid- he is pretty clever. But this trick he has up his sleeve is making me wacko.
I remember when Lil’ Wes was a little over one years old. I would be so excited when my husband came home from work to show him that Lil’ Wes was recognizing words on index cards. My husband sat down for the 23rd time that week, just as excited as the first, to see his son say the words Mommy has been teaching him. Hoping not to disappoint again, for the 24th time, I’d shown Lil’ Wes the index card with the word ELEPHANT. Much to my dismay, he looks at me like he has never seen this index card before in his life and then he has the audacity to start dancing. How embarrassing? So what’s left for me to do? I dance with him.

To say the least, I just give up! I give up on trying to showcase my sons intellectual talents that he just wants to keep concealed until he’s ready. I am starting to realize that this is one of the perks of parenting – you can’t really force a kid, especially a toddler, to “tap dance” when you want them to. In fact, the less I put Lil’ Wes on display in a glass case, the more he spontaneously shows his “hidden” talents.

Man, kids always have a way of making adults look crazy.