We were attempting to take family photos for the back cover of my up and coming book (soon to be released on Amazon, by the way) entitled Words of Wisdom to the Stay-at-Home Moms and Their Husbands. Sorry, I had to have a promotion moment.
Anyhow…we must have taken 2,342 pictures and this is how the photo shoot turned out.
Finally, we were able to capture the winning shot. WooHoo! Hurray for patient photographers a.k.a Grandpa and Grandma. Let’s also not forget those longsuffering models – hence, mommy Nikki and daddy Wesley.
GOTTA LOVE that precious lamb of mine. He is the only one who has the ability to make me frustrated, laugh, and melt my heart simultaneously. Now, I could’ve gotten upset after PHOTO #2,001 when Lil Wes decided he was throwing in the towel. He figured WE were wasting his time. If I can remember correctly, I believe he said he had more important things to do, like run around the backyard with his wagon as he is bound to discover the cure for cancer – or at least that’s how “important” he makes his play time seem.
The life of a 2 1/2 year old: All play, no work. Well, that is until he realizes that vaccuming is actually a chore. Shh!!! He doesn’t need to know. And no I am not infringing on any child labor laws, so there is no need to call the authorities.
To say the least, I got the shot I wanted and if I may say so myself, we look FAB-U-LOUS! Bellissimo!!!
Really, is being a mom suppossed to be this much fun? I am having a ball!
This is a great story that I read on Facebook. It is truly inspiring, so hold on to your hat because it will blow you away. (Author Unknown)
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6
I have to admit. I really have been blessed with the greatest family in the whole wide world. My mom, for one, has many qualities that I love, but there is just one that brings me to tears in laughter whenever I think about it.
As I reminisce about the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, I can’t help but think about the father’s unorthodox cure for everything – Windex. If the windows need cleaning, of course, Windex was the perfect solution. If you had a skin ailment, whether it was psoriasis, poison ivy, or acne- there he was, Windex in hand, ready to spray on contact. What was meant to be a glass cleaner, somehow to the father, also had the supernatural ability to comfort and heal skin irritations.
Likewise, my mom is the queen of home remedies. To no surprise, she has inherited the name Doc (short for doctor) at work because she always offers her old school, natural home remedy for every and any discomfort. If your joints are aching, she’ll make you a large cup of sage tea that she brewed up herself. Tylenol doesn’t exist in her world. When she senses you coming down with a cold she would force the poor victim to eat a clove of garlic. Do you know how embarrassing it was for my brother and I to go to school smelling like a deterrent for keeping vampires away? Whatever happened to plain ole’ Alka Seltzer? Also, everyday that my mom sent my brother and I to school, she would grease us up from head to toe in Vaseline… yes I said it …Vaseline! Can you imagine? You would have thought she was sending us out for a boxing match. If it was winter, she called herself protecting us from the cold – as if Vaseline was a magical shield to keep us warm and snugly. If it was spring time, the Vaseline was used to keep our skin moist- but doesn’t lotion do the same job? My brother and I found that we didn’t even need to write our names on our schoolwork because the teachers could spot our papers a mile away. Just by looking at the multiple grease marks left on it from excess Vaseline, they knew it was ours. It’s funny now. It wasn’t funny then.
But my all time favorite is her fascination with Golden Seal. Golden Seal is an herb that comes in the form of an ointment to speed and soothe healing of irritated skin. Despite this, it seems to be the solution for 80% of the problems we throw at my mom.
“Mom, I have an insect bite.”
“Well Nikki, go and rub some Golden Seal on it.”
“Mommy, my big toe nail fell off.”
“ Now how in the world did you do that? Go in the bathroom drawer and get the Golden Seal. It should grow back in a couple of seconds.”
“ Mom, I broke my arm!”
“ That Golden Seal will make it all better, baby.”
“ Mommy, I am going bald.”
“ Go ahead and rub some Golden Seal ointment on your scalp to stimulate your roots. That should do the trick.”
“Mom, I am in labor!”
“ Nikki, make sure you apply that Golden Seal like I told you to and that beautiful baby should slip right out.”
We tease my mom a lot about her obsession with Golden Seal. My family thinks she really needs to think about jumping careers to become their spokesperson. Obviously, I’ve stretched the truth a bit on how she would suggest use of this product, but anyone who knows mommy, knows Golden Seal. I got to hand it to her though- most of my issues were solved by using this product, so I know she is on the right track. Mommy will never steer you wrong –at least not intentionally.
I am so blessed to have a self-made doctor in a mommy- I just love this quality. What a great package she is. I hope to one day have my son, Lil’ Wes, laughing with me (and not at me) about the qualities I possess. I may not be Dr. Mom, but I am sure I’ll be “Dance Fever” -since I love to dance, hopefully good enough to not embarrass my little man. It is so great to have memories, such as this, to remind me of the times I’ve laughed the most. And it feels good to be able to find humor in each other. One day when Lil’ Wes gets older, I am sure that he will be teasing me about the things that I do and guess what… I can’t wait to laugh.
I give up! I think my recently turned 2-year-old son likes playing this little joke on me. Maybe you can take a look into my world and explain this swindle my little man has mastered.
Now one of the biggest benefits of being a full-time stay-at-home mom is the versatility I have with my responsibilities. By far, being a teacher to Lil’ Wes has been more rewarding than words can describe. Well actually it depends on the day. Sometimes I don’t feel too proud of my accomplishments because for the most part I am the only one that sees it. Again, I think Lil’ Wes is playing tricks on me.
Everyday I allot a certain amount of time dedicated for school where I am the teacher and Lil’ Wes is my student. By the way, he is at the top of his class – although he’s the only one in it. I’ll teach Lil’ Wes the alphabet and he’ll recite his ABC’s confidently – even do some of them in sign language. He’ll learn his numbers 1-10 and not only does he recognize the numbers, say them in order, but he’ll make a representation of the numbers with Cheerios (2 Cheerios = 2) or with his blocks (4 blocks = 4).
If you walk into our house you would think you just entered a preschool. With corresponding words taped around on household objects there is no doubt that there is some serious learning taking place. When I read Lil’ Wes his favorite book on shapes, he knows his circles from squares, his rectangles from triangles, and even his octagons from his pentagons. He’ll see a door and yell out “Rectangle!” He’ll see the wheels on a car and scream “Circle!”. Even when we are driving, as best as he can, he’ll shout out “Oc- gon” for octagon when he sees a stop sign.
There is no doubt this boy is truly amazing. He’s quite a genius, a rising star, not to mention a mastermind …. IN SECRET! Just let me try to show his brilliancy off to family or friends.
“Lil’ Wes, can you say your numbers?”
He responds, “ 2, 3, 5…”
Obviously he needed a little bit of assistance. What ever happened to #1 and #4?
“Okay honey, can you say your ABC’s?
Without hesitation he says, “B, C, D, 2, square…”
First of all, I find it quite interesting that he likes to start with the second number and letter in both the numerical system and the alphabet. It never fails.
Let’s just say that Lil’ Wes doesn’t work his best under extreme pressure. When all eyes are on him, he actually starts wiggling, kicking, and dancing. When others are around, he is more focused on getting his groove on than getting his alphabet correct.
For all he knows we want to see a show. So what does a performer do? He performs. I guess reciting the ABC’s and 123’s is not in his repertoire for public eyes to see or ears to hear. But when it is just Mommy and him, he does everything perfectly – he’s my Baby Einstein. I got to hand it to the kid- he is pretty clever. But this trick he has up his sleeve is making me wacko.
I remember when Lil’ Wes was a little over one years old. I would be so excited when my husband came home from work to show him that Lil’ Wes was recognizing words on index cards. My husband sat down for the 23rd time that week, just as excited as the first, to see his son say the words Mommy has been teaching him. Hoping not to disappoint again, for the 24th time, I’d shown Lil’ Wes the index card with the word ELEPHANT. Much to my dismay, he looks at me like he has never seen this index card before in his life and then he has the audacity to start dancing. How embarrassing? So what’s left for me to do? I dance with him.
To say the least, I just give up! I give up on trying to showcase my sons intellectual talents that he just wants to keep concealed until he’s ready. I am starting to realize that this is one of the perks of parenting – you can’t really force a kid, especially a toddler, to “tap dance” when you want them to. In fact, the less I put Lil’ Wes on display in a glass case, the more he spontaneously shows his “hidden” talents.
Man, kids always have a way of making adults look crazy.
There is this parable I once heard that I found to be quite interesting and very relatable. Do you want to read it? Well…here it goes -with a little twist.
There was a hog and a hen enjoying their daily walk in sunny California on a Sunday afternoon. As they walked by a church in session, they overheard the pastor’s sermon with the subject: “How Can We Help the Needy?” Interested, both hen and hog sat down to reflect with great intensity. The hen excitedly said, “ I have a great idea. We can give the needy a bacon and egg breakfast!” After a moments thought, the hog gave the hen an evil look and challenged him to think about the words that just came out of his mouth. “ If you are only giving your eggs, that would merely be a contribution. Whereas for me, it would mean a total commitment!”, the hog retorted.
The nerve of that hen! How dare he? Actually, when you think about it, a lot of us are living our life like the hen. The purpose of this parable can parallel to so many circumstances -from our relationship with God to our relationship with people we surround ourselves with. Right now, I want to focus on my relationship with my hen…ooops… I mean husband.
How many times have you felt like you were the one in your marriage giving your all and all while your mate seemed to give only a portion? Despite the fact that there are some days I can’t fit into my skinny jeans, there are times when I feel like the hog in my marriage. Been there…done that.
But if you ask my husband the same question, he would say that he, too, has felt like the hog and that I was in fact the hen on occasion. Well, that’s funny. I didn’t expect that. I thought I always gave my all. He sure fooled me…excuse me while I scratch my neck in embarrassment.
What it all boils down to is communication and devotion. Husbands and wives (shamefully I include myself) need to stop treating their spouse like a Goodwill Donation Center – making random contributions here and there. My goal is to be more cognizant of my husbands’ wants and needs, while affirming him when he fulfills my desires. In order for marriages to work, there needs to be a total dedication from both parties to lessen the chance of ever having to plan a ‘divorce party’. No matter if my husband is “oinking” or “clucking”, I will love him with no limitations. But I sure do fancy bacon and he does too (as long as it’s crispy).
Last night I made a salad for Wesley with all the tasty accoutrements – romaine lettuce, avocado, Gorgonzola cheese, croutons, grilled chicken, and Italian Dressing. We have been eating salads lately since we’ve noticed a bit of weight gaining up on us lately. Actually, you can only see it on me. Wesley only knows that he’s gained because the scale told him so. His beautiful body doesn’t react to additional pounds. I am convinced men have it too easy. Anyhow…as we sat down to eat, I noticed that he was scarfing down his food like he hadn’t had a meal in over a week. All I could do is stare. After completing his meal, he walks into the kitchen and starts to stuff his mouth even more with the extra pieces of chicken I called myself “grilling” in the pan. With a mouth full of food he says,
“Nik, what did you do different with the chicken this time? It’s dry, charred, and brittle. It’s…it’s…its PERFECT!”
Now, to many of us, that sounds unappetizing, but not to my sweetie pie.
“Actually Wes… I burnt it.”, I replied.
As he proceeds to lick his fingers of dry chicken flavoring like he was eating a juicy piece of fried chicken he responds,
“Mmm…well keep that up. That was some good chicken.”
Who would ever think that overcooked, dehydrated chicken would be a request of their husband. In fact, Wesley is ‘that’ customer at a restaurant that will return his steak, hamburger, or even eggs if they aren’t super well-done. Is super well-done even a choice at a restaurant? What trips me out the most is that his mom is a great cook – one of the best that I know. But to Wesley, the drier, the better. I guess I gotta’ give the man what he likes, right? He has totally made my cooking responsibilities way too easy. All I have to do is put the meat on the pan and wait until the fire alarm goes off.
This uncomplicated request really made me realize that my husband is a very simple man. His requests are not in abundance. Essentially, this trait is so adorable to me because Wesley is unlike anyone that I’ve known and I’ve learned to embrace his distinctiveness to a point that I admire it. If I had married a man that expected a gourmet meal every night, or even two days a week… okay …even one day a week, I would fail miserably. Thank God for burnt poultry – I can hardly get this request wrong.
My husband doesn’t really ask for too much, so why not give him what his little heart desires – burnt chicken it is!
Wow! I am so excited about officially writing my first post of many to come. My hope is to make you smile as you realize that you are not alone, laugh until your head falls off because of topics you can totally relate to, and for you to be empowered with the occasional conviction or two- making you a better wife, mom, husband, or father.
Let me introduce myself. I am your Ace of SAHMs (Stay-at Home Moms, pronounced ‘Sams’), better known as Nikki Ace. I call myself the Ace of SAHMs because I am a champion at what I do. I am a wife and a mom – I think that says it all. Now where’s my trophy?
Despite the mere fluke that my last name is actually Ace, I believe that ALL moms should feel like they are an ‘Ace’ (synonymous with champion) –whether employed or not. All moms are champions when they put their family first. It is taking some time, but I am doing my best to give my family world-class service with my daily efforts of becoming the best mom and wife that I can be and I encourage you all to do the same.
I am proud to say that I love the Lord Jesus Christ, the ultimate champion, with all of my heart and that he has blessed me with almost 4 years of marital bliss. Marital bliss? Sounds too good to be true, huh? Probably because it is. Although, my husband and I have been undoubtedly happily married, it has never been a fairy tale. As we literally had to “learn” each other, we realized that there were things about each one of us that we thought were deficiencies. But really, they were just our differences. So obviously, this initially put a damper on our marriage as we were slowly creeping into the understanding that, “Hey, you don’t think like me?”
And then comes the baby. This adorable little creature we call Lil’ Wes joined our lives on June of 2008. At almost 2 years old, I get a daily dose of unintended exercise as I attempt to keep up with my son’s full of life personality. Gotta love him! He makes me feel like a champion everyday.
Our decision for me to resign my 7-year span of teaching to become a full-time SAHM had an effect on our marriage like being hit with a ton of bricks. I never knew life could be so hard. I thought choosing to be a SAHM would be easier than my past endeavors. Hey, the hard part of my life is over –or at least I thought. I graduated college and had a successful career. How hard can being a SAHM be?
I quickly learned that making this decision impacted my life in more ways than one. With some much-needed insight from other SAHMs, I realized that becoming that champion that I yearned to be, takes some serious effort and work. My blogs will be a testament to how the Lord shows up, changes hearts, and showed me how to love the way he loves. Because only a champion is capable of influencing future champions.
Champions get up one more time than they have been knocked down.
Champions give their all no matter the score.
Champions do what is right even when it hurts.
Champions know winning is not necessarily measured by the final score.
Champions take a stand for what is right, even when they stand alone.
Champions see every challenge as an opportunity.
Champions make those around them better.
Champions do the right thing even when no one is watching.
Champions dedicate themselves to prepare for success.
Champions put the success of others above individual achievement.
Champions understand winning is not the only thing.
Champions live by a higher personal standard.
Champions stand firm when others around them fall.
Champions live what they speak and speak what they live.
Champions lay down their own desires for the benefit of others.
Champions willingly accept responsibility, and graciously deflect honor.
Champions never sacrifice what is best for something good.
Champions may fail…but they never quit.