I have to admit. I really have been blessed with the greatest family in the whole wide world. My mom, for one, has many qualities that I love, but there is just one that brings me to tears in laughter whenever I think about it.
As I reminisce about the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, I can’t help but think about the father’s unorthodox cure for everything – Windex. If the windows need cleaning, of course, Windex was the perfect solution. If you had a skin ailment, whether it was psoriasis, poison ivy, or acne- there he was, Windex in hand, ready to spray on contact. What was meant to be a glass cleaner, somehow to the father, also had the supernatural ability to comfort and heal skin irritations.
Likewise, my mom is the queen of home remedies. To no surprise, she has inherited the name Doc (short for doctor) at work because she always offers her old school, natural home remedy for every and any discomfort. If your joints are aching, she’ll make you a large cup of sage tea that she brewed up herself. Tylenol doesn’t exist in her world. When she senses you coming down with a cold she would force the poor victim to eat a clove of garlic. Do you know how embarrassing it was for my brother and I to go to school smelling like a deterrent for keeping vampires away? Whatever happened to plain ole’ Alka Seltzer? Also, everyday that my mom sent my brother and I to school, she would grease us up from head to toe in Vaseline… yes I said it …Vaseline! Can you imagine? You would have thought she was sending us out for a boxing match. If it was winter, she called herself protecting us from the cold – as if Vaseline was a magical shield to keep us warm and snugly. If it was spring time, the Vaseline was used to keep our skin moist- but doesn’t lotion do the same job? My brother and I found that we didn’t even need to write our names on our schoolwork because the teachers could spot our papers a mile away. Just by looking at the multiple grease marks left on it from excess Vaseline, they knew it was ours. It’s funny now. It wasn’t funny then.
But my all time favorite is her fascination with Golden Seal. Golden Seal is an herb that comes in the form of an ointment to speed and soothe healing of irritated skin. Despite this, it seems to be the solution for 80% of the problems we throw at my mom.
“Mom, I have an insect bite.”
“Well Nikki, go and rub some Golden Seal on it.”
“Mommy, my big toe nail fell off.”
“ Now how in the world did you do that? Go in the bathroom drawer and get the Golden Seal. It should grow back in a couple of seconds.”
“ Mom, I broke my arm!”
“ That Golden Seal will make it all better, baby.”
“ Mommy, I am going bald.”
“ Go ahead and rub some Golden Seal ointment on your scalp to stimulate your roots. That should do the trick.”
“Mom, I am in labor!”
“ Nikki, make sure you apply that Golden Seal like I told you to and that beautiful baby should slip right out.”
We tease my mom a lot about her obsession with Golden Seal. My family thinks she really needs to think about jumping careers to become their spokesperson. Obviously, I’ve stretched the truth a bit on how she would suggest use of this product, but anyone who knows mommy, knows Golden Seal. I got to hand it to her though- most of my issues were solved by using this product, so I know she is on the right track. Mommy will never steer you wrong –at least not intentionally.
I am so blessed to have a self-made doctor in a mommy- I just love this quality. What a great package she is. I hope to one day have my son, Lil’ Wes, laughing with me (and not at me) about the qualities I possess. I may not be Dr. Mom, but I am sure I’ll be “Dance Fever” -since I love to dance, hopefully good enough to not embarrass my little man. It is so great to have memories, such as this, to remind me of the times I’ve laughed the most. And it feels good to be able to find humor in each other. One day when Lil’ Wes gets older, I am sure that he will be teasing me about the things that I do and guess what… I can’t wait to laugh.